Foreign Foods In Foreign Lands

I don’t like French food in France. I don’t like Russian food in Russia. I don’t like Hawaiian food in Hawaii. I don’t like Asian food in Hawaii. I don’t like Italian food in Italy. I don’t like German food in Germany. I don’t like Mexican food in Mexico. I don’t like English food in Britain. I don’t like Dutch food in Holland (the Netherlands). I don’t like Swiss food in Switzerland. I don’t like Belgian food in Belgium. I don’t like Austrian food in Austria. I don’t like Finnish food in Finland.

I don’t like street food anywhere.

I like everything À la Sharon. My way not your way. My taste buds not yours. In the style and manner of me. Using ingredients I like from everywhere that I want them from, combined and cooked the way I like to combine and cook them, not according to your culture or your dried up used up old never going to work for me method. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your culture and how you dismember an animal dead or alive passed down from generation to generation of serial offenders.

I don’t like your bread unless it’s made in an American bakery – the way I like bread to be made, the way I like bread to taste and texture. I don’t want you to pound the dough on a rock with filthy hands you scratched your ass and the snot from your nose with, then sell it to me as authentic.

The only thing I want authentic is me – not your greasy, slimy, dirty, grown in toilet water garbage that you call authentic foreign food.

I don’t like the animal in anything.

So all you foreigners who eat insects, keep them out of the foods you sell to me, unbeknownst to me, because you made a deal with somebody in the USA government giving you permission to use products I don’t want in my food. We’ll make the people adjust was the plan.

Not this old lady. I don’t adjust to slaughter and filth and allergic reactions to shell insects – yeah that’s right. Shell fish. Shell insects, beetles, whatever the name du jour happens to be in any given year. Keep your allergy producing foods in your own country, in your own pantry. I don’t want them.

It’s about moving forward – not moving backwards, where we all return to the jungle to scrape the dirt with sticks to gouge up worms for snacks. Whose global planning idea was that?

Fire their asses.






 

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